Assalamou 'Aleikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu
I reverted to Islam about three years ago while trying to convert a friend to Christianity. Alhamdulillah, the wonderful thing that happened was that I began my own inner debate and found in Islam all the answers that Christianity left me searching for nearly all of my life.
The first one and a half years after my discovery I spent in Islamic isolation. l was told by a non-practicising Muslim (???) that my best bet was to learn everything I could before going to the masjid and so I did. Finally I went to the masjid and boy was I confused... this one covered her feet , that one did not , one wore makeup, the other did not , I heard proper hijaab was for only for the most beautiful sisters(and who is judging that contest), and when we left to go home, about 75% of the scarfs and khimars came off and went on the seat of the car or in the purse. I was given the number of a sister in my area. She was new to Islam as well and we both stumbled blindly along the way as we learned all we could about Islam. We laugh now at our “modest wear” from those days, beautiful long printed skirts and lovely matching scarfs and a dash or two of make-up.
There was a Sister’s Conference coming to a neighboring state and a sister that we heard of was going to attend so we arranged to stay the night at her house to attend the conference the next day. Subhannallah!!This sister and her neighbor used so much hikmah in teaching us about proper hijab. They constantly related to us how beautiful the Muslim woman is and why they wore full hijab with pride. They even remarked on how elegant and befitting for a Muslimah my one black jilbaab was and happily suggested I iron it out for the next day’s journey. At the conference the sisters introduced us to a crew of proper hijaabis who were all very sweet and non judgmental. While checking out the vending they dropped subtle hints... “just try it”, “buy one and keep it”, here get some gloves, you may want it later”, “got enough, buy this book of hadith, there’s plenty of good info in there....”.. By the end of the conference I was in proper hijaab and gloves and loving it.
For the next few months I jumped in and out if proper hijaab . I would wear it on the way to work but take it off when I got to the door, Thinking I would be history if I attempted to wear it at work, until one day, I went for it. Subhanallah, my coworkers and managers were so supportive and had asked me why I was afraid to wear it there. The big boss even laughed at me and said “ What’d ya think we’d do fire you!”.
At my most recent stages I have married and left the workplace to homeschool my daughter, spend more time studying, caring for my family and home. I am trying to work on covering the eyes and alhamdulillah it has been pretty easy for me. For most of us in those dark colors people will zero in on your eyes and even be so bold as to remark on how beautiful they are!
People sometimes look at me strange or with pity , thinking I am oppressed.. Only if they knew.....they would prefer the veil over my eyes than the one that is over the hearts of those who cannot see the reality of tawhid, the excellence of Islam, and the beauty of obeying Allah swt and following the Sunnah of His Prophet saw.