THE QUESTION:
Assalaam-0-Alaikum,
Thank you, for mailing me back. I have been thinking about wearing the
face veil too. But, I am kind of afraid to wear it. Maybe not afraid but don't
know how I would be treated with it on and I do not know how to wear it. Please
help me. And give me more insight on it and more help it Islam Please, Sisters I need help. I am 35 years old.
and mother of 5 kids. Plus I have grand children. I am trying to wear Islamic
clothes. But, I can make them and I have a daughter that is 11yrs. When do she
start covering too.
See I am Full of questions.
So Sisters can you help me.
Wa-salaam, Sister A
THE REPLIES:
Assalaamu Alaikum, Sister
I have starting wearing proper hijaab only
in the past month or so. I started with a half niqab, leaving my eyes
exposed, but I don't like the way it creeps up under my eyes.. Now
I cover my eyes too, wearing the Saudi-style proper hijaab which I
ordered from a sister here. (I love it!)
Also, I didn't like that people could see my eyes---they are a really
light blue, and I think that made people wonder and stare too much trying to
figure out where I was from. (A blue-eyed Muslim???)
Even all covered I have nice experiences--like the other day. I went to a
new grocery store. Several ladies actually smiled at me, and a little boy looked
right at me and said that he and his brother liked how I was "all covered
up".
The main thing is that I am starting gradually. I don't wear proper hijaab at work
because my job requires patient contact (I'm a labor and delivery nurse).
Also, at work I have never had a patient's husband or male visitor make an
unwanted remark or look. On the other hand, I started wearing proper hijaab because of
all the muslim brothers who kept staring at me. (---yes, Sister K, I met you at
the 14th St Bazaar...and after that experience feeling like I was in a meat
market I started wearing proper hijaab.)
Wearing hijab was easy--I started wearing it the day I took my shahada,
but for me wearing proper hijaab is gradual. Inshallah, sister, you will find out what
is best for you..
D
Mashallah! Thank you for sharing with us D! I can relate with you about
the light-blue eyes. I don't wear the half-proper hijaab anymore either because the
elastic tends to put pressure on my face and around my ears and I feel
constricted.
I however, switched to the headband proper
hijaab. I don't wear the eye cover though. However, if I feel I need
to I wouldn't hesitate. I almost rarely leave my house without my
husband therefore I have almost zero eye-contact with men. When shopping,
he handles the inquiries for men and I deal with the women. (In all
honesty, you can practically count the times I leave my house in a
month on one hand-and usually half of that time is to the masjid .
I wanted to share with you all a couple of pleasant experiences I have had
lately.
I have been back in my home town for a little more than a month, as many
of you know I recently returned to F from M. I shared with everyone here that my
daughter and I are almost the only ones in proper hijaab where we are living. There are
a few sisters from Saudia that wear the proper hijaab but they do not speak any English
so are unable to share daleel with most of the sister here. ( We have many
American sisters in our Masjid).
Upon returning here to my home town (where I made my shahada) I was
worried about what my Muslim friends would say or how they would react to me as
a proper hijaabi. None of them wore proper hijaab and I never heard them express any interest
in doing so. Alhamdulillah everyone has been so kind! Mashallah! I really love
all my sisters Alhamdulillah!
What I want to share with everyone is that in the past month I have had 4
different sisters approach me quietly, and share with me their interests in
proper hijaab! Alhamdulillah!
One sister, a truly good friend of mine mashallah,
was one of the first sisters I met when I came to this wonderful deen.
(She is also the sister I ran into the grocery store I already told
you about previously). She expressed to me that deep down she feels
that the next step for her is to cover her face however she has many
of the same fears that we all have in the beginning.
After talking a while she asked me if I would bring her a proper hijaab
yesterday to the masjid. (Of course I took her a few) Please make
duah for her and I hope to inshallah have her join us here very soon!
Another sister also confided in me that she has experimented a few times
with the proper hijaab and felt really at ease while wearing it. The same thing though
is that her fears are that she is worried about other reactions from her Muslim
sisters here. Alhamdulillah, she has expressed to me that now that I am here and
wear proper hijaab it makes her feel brave enough to consider doing so as well!
I have shared with many sisters here the wonderful pamphlets and
newsletters created by many of the members here and articles and other various
resources online as well, and have found them all to be a tremendous help in
informing and sharing with others! Alhamdulillah! Keep up the good work
everyone!!
And I would like to personally take the time to thank (Allah first of
course) Alhamdulillah, and everyone here for your contributions and sistership!
It really means a lot to myself and others as well. Jazakhallah Khair!!!
Love,N
Assalaamu Alaikum Sister A,
Welcome and thank you for joining
us!
I can sympathize with you fearing how others will treat you when wearing
the face veil. I had the same fears myself. I even worried how my Muslim friends
would react to me wearing proper hijaab. Al hamdulillah they have all been comfortable
with it and I haven't had any negative reactions from them :)
Actually I have had several lately come to me and inquire more about it
and tell me that they are interested in wearing proper hijaab.
As far as the non-Muslims I have had pretty much the same reaction as I
got from just wearing the head scarf. Mostly people stare but no more than they
used to without the face veil. Actually I find that people usually glance and
turn away quicker. When they look they really don't see anything. I feel like I
have more privacy. It seems for me that they were bolder when they could see my
face and would sometimes mutter comments loud enough for me to hear them.
I would be very happy to help you in anyway that I can. Please send me
your mailing address and I will send you some pamphlets on proper hijaab. One that I
have is great to share with non-Muslims.
As for daughters they are required to cover when they reach puberty. I
personally think it is better to start getting them used to the head scarf when
they are younger and encourage them to look forward in wearing it. I can tell
you that my step-daughter, Mashallah, lives in Palestine couldn't wait until she
was at the age when it was required for her to wear hijab. She was so excited
and proud when she reached that point in her life because she felt she is no
longer a little child but a young lady. It was like a major milestone for her :)
Everyone congratulated her and made over her (of course she grinned from ear to
ear).
Inshallah we can be of help to you. Please
feel free to post anytime. There are many wonderful sisters here who
are always eager to help others. You can also email me privately as
well. That goes for anyone else as well.
Love,N
As Salaamu ALAIKUM
Sister, yes I can InshaAllah assist you in wearing of the face veil called
proper hijaab. InshaALlah to assit you in wearing it properly. Also for anyone who
wants to know I have some beautiful proper hijaab and Abaya sets and Jilbab as well.
InshaALlah sister please let me know exactly what you need to know. As far as
your 11 year old yes it is time for her to begin covering to.
The proper age I believe is ten. My daughter is 6 and loves the proper hijaab she
does wear it whenever she wants but I never ask her to. If she does choose to
though I tell her she must keep it on. So as not to carry more luggage. She does
this with no problem. InshaAllah let me know exactly what your questions are. I
can explain a way to make it as well I think.
Was Salaamu Alaikum
A
Salaam Alaikum,
I find that I have LESS hassles
now than when I just wore the plain hijab... before since I am obviously
American people felt like they could just stare at my face and say whatever they
liked. Now that I cover my face people just assume I am an Arab and they leave
me alone...
K
Dear Sister,
Can I add my thoughts on your problem? When I started wearing proper hijaab, I was
scared that everyone would think I was a freak - that was in London about six
years ago and there were few proper hijaabis to be seen there. To my surprise, I found
I was occasionally stared at but I was left alone far more than had been the
case when I had just worn hijaab. Like Sister A, I soon started wearing eye
veils as well and, like her, felt even more comfortable like that.
What has surprised me has been reactions that I have been getting of
late.. About three months ago, I was married to a wonderful man whose only
failing is that his business takes me away from home a great deal. We talked
things over and he said that, if I wanted to accompany him on his travels I
could do so. So, in recent months I have travelled a great deal in the Middle
East and in Europe.
At first I was afraid that being fully veiled was going
to cause all sorts of troubles. In fact the reverse has been the case.
Wearing full veils, I have had far less hassle than ever before; even
normally surly immigration officials have hurried off to find a female
colleague to speak to me - even entering France where there is a lot
of anti-Islamic feeling, and Britain with its harsh immigration laws.
I am not stared at half as much as I used to be - after all
there's very little to see except black material
and that sure is boring - just as it's supposed to be. And, in the
last few months I have not been 'propositioned' once; in fact the
last time this happened was prior to adopting proper hijaab.
One word of warning though. Some
guys find a pretty pair of eyes looking at them over the top of a proper hijaab
incredibly sexy. Sorry to sound crude, but that's how it is.. I think a lot of
proper hijaabis observe 'hijaab of the eyes' because of this, and more and more of us
seem to be adopting eye veils. These aren't as bad as you might think. I always
thought I wouldn't be able to see anything with one down over my eyes; but I
found I was wrong in this. In fact now I barely notice them, and only raise them
away from home when driving the car or trying to read in bad light.
Insha'Allah you will find the
transition easier than you thought, Sister. And, if you do have further
problems, you have found the right forum here to find the answers.
Walaikum salaam
Yours sister in Islam
H
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