This I hope won't be too long, anyway here goes. I became interested in Islam after my son became incarcerated and took his shahada , and he would say to me when I came to visit that I would make a great Muslimah. Well, at the time I wasn't interested in Islam and I told him clearly that I was raised a Baptist and I would stay a Baptist. Little did I know what Allah (swt) had in store for me then.
I at the time was in recovery from a life of drugs and alcohol and was attending different churches to become more spiritual or as they say in recovery to get closer to my high power. I met a lady in recovery and we became close at first she was not covering and I found out later that she was a Muslim, she became intended and I started asking questions and she said for me to come to the masjid if I wanted to learn more about Islam, I did. I was to meet her at the masjid to sit in on a class with her to see what I though and to get some answers for myself.
I liked the way the women I saw covered, okay so I went to meet this sister but I was about a half an hour early so when I went in I saw some sisters sitting in the masjid and asked if I could sit and wait with them, they said that I could and there was a sister reading from the Quran in Arabic and it brought tears to my eyes even though I didn't know what she was saying I just felt that it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard and even as I sit writing this I still feel like I did at that very moment, I am filled up with emotions of gratitude for this blessing. I continued to go to the classes and three weeks later I took my shahada, the sister got married but sorry to say I missed the nikah because I had to work. I started out wearing long skirts and big shirts or large trousers and hijab, than I started wearing over garments and hijab and than I saw a sister fully covered and I knew that I wanted to look that way also. I tried proper hijaab and I liked the way it made me feel and about this time I was getting married and I knew that from that day on I would cover completely.
I wore the veil on my wedding day and was very happy, but things weren't going to stay that way and when things starting going bad in my marriage I took off my veil because I felt that the brother didn't deserve a sister who covered that way. What I had forgot was that I did this for the pleasure of Allah and none else, also I was being called an orthodox Muslim and sister you don't have to wear this because of your age and I let those things upset me.
I did return to wearing the veil but by then I was in job training and although I wore the veil all through job training when I went out to search for a job I was rejected because of the veil, oh they didn't say that was the reason but no one called me after my initial interview with the veil on, once again I took the veil off for what I though would help me get employment.
I found work but the atmosphere was so spiritually degrading that I quit and asked my husband if I could work from home . I Put my veil back on inshallah for the last time. Now I don't care about anybody but Allah(swt) and pleasing my Lord, no husband, no other people's opinion do I care about. This has been a long hard road for me but with the mercy of Allah I will continue to do what I know is right for me.